Important Tools – Practice Makes Perfect

Validate what you’re hearing by using phrases such as:

“It makes sense that you are feeling…”
“It sounds like what you’re saying is…”
“So what you are asking is…”
“That sounds really__(hard, painful, difficult, overwhelming)…”
“Of course you…”
“I can certainly understand how that might make you feel…”

Ask open-ended questions to encourage the person to share what they would like.

“What was that like for you?”
“So, what happened next?”
“How has that been for you and your family?”
“What were you thinking when that happened?”
“That must be really hard. How are you coping?”

Also…

  • Don’t be afraid of silence. A lot of important things happen during the silence. Wait and see.
  • Be mindful to let your mentee finish their thoughts before responding.
  • Remember that tone is not always relayed easily through text and emails. Take a moment to read over what you plan to send to make sure your mentee will understand the sentiment you intend to convey.